10/10/2007 – Santa Clara, CA

…..If you think the image of someone falling from the sky, losing their hard hat and getting stuck in the muck should be the definition of a person. I always knew there was something weird about this tree and then today when I came to work and saw a random hard hat left in the grass next to it the conclusion was finally drawn. Trees are people too, who knew all those hippies some many years ago were not just drugged up acid dropping brain bubblers? Now yes, the image of someone falling from the sky and getting stuck in the muck like that would be a delightfully funny thing (if you aren’t seeing what I’m seeing yet then you are just not getting the joke this world is playing on us) but then I sat there going…  “well damn, this tree has been here for a long time I’m sure” and “wow, that would really suck to be stuck there that long!”. To justify I am sane and that this was not just some strange and random occurance I had to come up with a reason the person’s feet would grow into an obviously larger tree top full of green leaves. Athletes foot.

You heard me, clearly this was some sky-walking ex athlete and now former construction worker. Possibly from the rebuild of the “deathstar”. That’s right! You can thank the combination of George Lucas and Kevin Smith for my very scientific explanation of why this tree looks like the lower half of a human who has been stuck in the mud.